Today is my birthday and so, I shall post some jokes!
First Grade Proverbs
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader. Strike while the... bug is close. It's always darkest before... daylight savings time. Never underestimate the power of... termites. You can lead a horse to water but... how? Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty. No news is... impossible. A miss is as good as a... Mr. You can't teach an old dog... math. If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning. Love all, trust... me. The pen is mightier than... the pigs. An idle mind is... the best way to relax. Where there is smoke, there's... pollution. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents. A penny saved is... not much. Two is company, three's... The Musketeers. None are so blind as... Helen Keller. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way. There is no fool like... Aunt Edie. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose.
Is it funny????? I hope so... As this is one of the few jokes that do not have s*x in it!
Lots of love JOjo<3
Saturday, October 27, 2007 @ 4:35 PM
HELLO 1N, can you PLEASE THINK of a NAME for 2N NEXT YEAR? :) TOO N___ . Or Two N___. But personally I think Too N___ is cooler. Ha ha. So faster think please then I can make a new skin (:
If not we're going to be so outdated. D:
QUICK GO THINK!!!!!!!! suggest suggest byebyebye BYEEE
anuthida
Friday, October 26, 2007 @ 2:57 PM
Hi 1/N gals!
We are all gonna be 2/N gals liao... So... So wat!*Copy the Tyra Banks show... Just be ourselves! Here is a joke to cheer you all up!
There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter
Also... I made Sharon go into my blog and soon she will visiting our blog! Yippee! For your info. if you did not know... Sharon is going to this blog... She should really learn t use such things... Or else she is gonna stay in a world of boredom!
I am finally back and I hope that all of you are happy with it 'cause this means more jokes but I am unable to give you all any jokes. LOL!
Well done Beaunice for those pictures... Very artistic!
Lots of love JOjo <3
@ 4:20 PM
UNO IS STILL THE BEST.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007 @ 9:26 PM
hi guys i mean 1N gals hey my blog link changed, please take note. no more skyhawksoaringstars.blogspot.com it is www.wintersonata-lonelyworld.blogspot.com TAKE NOTE!!! because of a stupid and idiot girl frm rgs. so i had 2 change. sorry 4 d inconvenience.
azritania
Monday, October 15, 2007 @ 12:21 PM
Fo so long I was not free so here are the Jokes
TWO NEW JERSEY HUNTERS Two New Jersey hunters go hunting. After a while, one of the hunters clutches his throat and falls to the ground, his eyes roll back, and he's lying there motionless. The other one picks up his mobile phone, dials 911, and says, "I think my friend is dead! I don't know what to do!" The 911 dispatcher says, "Just relax. Calm down. The first thing to do is to make certain your friend is dead." There's a pause --- then a gunshot. And the hunter gets back on the phone and says, "Okay. Now what?"
NEW BLONDE NEIGHBOR NEXT DOOR A neighbor watches as his new blonde neighbor rushes out to her mailbox and flips open the lid then closes it. She rushes back into the house with an angry look on her face. While he is cutting his grass, he sees her do this three more times.Finally, while he is trimming nearby her mailbox, he can stand it no longer and asks her why she keeps running out and looking in her mailbox?She replied, "Oh, it's my stupid computer. The thing keeps telling me, You've Got Mail."
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!
Maid answers phone. He says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend." He says to maid, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both." Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok." 5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?" He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them when I get home." She says, "We don't have a pool." He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
Monday, October 8, 2007 @ 10:16 AM
hello 1N! the last posted that i posted im so sorry for the spelling mistakes... okay so try listening to this song, mite b familiar....
azritania
Sunday, October 7, 2007 @ 12:05 PM
Hi!
Dr. Mental apprentice here! I have recovered from the stupid dengue illness. I have struggled so much and I hope that all of you have done your part by stopping any kind of mosquitoes from breeding.
So 1/N, I heard that you want more jokes.
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving". The mother went in and told her son, "we don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don't want to hear any bad language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today".
"For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the bitch in the kitchen."
That is all for now... Hear from you next time...
I will set up a poll for the types of jokes, you want.
Lots of love Dr Mentel's apprentice ♥
Friday, October 5, 2007 @ 10:24 PM
Hi!
This is Joey! I am have updated the blog by adding the other class's link except for a few. Byebye and take care... Already so late, 10.33pm.
